waiting, room
Thursday, January 10, 2008 at 1:39pm
Waiting, Room. After spending what seems like an abundance of time in waiting rooms lately I have observed a few things, one might learn from. One, though the circumstances for your visit may change the people joining you dont. There is always the mom pleading with a child to behave, holding a bribe and threat in a single hand. Caving to some form of mock obedience. The sweet old couple in the corner resting in eachothers nearness, knowing all to well the young Dr. they wait for, is again no where close to being on time today. The business man who is making every second of his day count for the unknown brownie point quota. The young kid all on his own, forced into some form of reality, avoiding any human contact. You will have to look twice to notice that there is indeed a body holding up the pile of clothes slouched in the chair. The single lady with a smile, or the old man with a story to share. Each of these silently heed the unspoken courtesies of waiting room protocol. There is an uninterrupted rythmn to this daily routine. A magazine page flips, a leg swings back and forth or the gentle turn of a head when a fellow sojourner joins the ranks. Even the call to follow seems to be set in poetic motion. Then without warning it all violently tumbles to a halt. Like the overprotective mother who with tires sqealing, suddenly slams on the breaks and hurtles her arm across the chest of an unsuspecting passenger, knocking all air from them. What was almost tolerable bliss ends with the entrance of the loudest, chunky, dressed in yeterdays pjs, talking on her cell phone, oblivious woman. Peaceful music drowns under the weight of her harsh tone. What was once soft careless flip of a page now becomes a quick and aggitated thrashing through numerous magazines. The swinging of legs is now fingers jackhammering their way through the arm rest. Heads begin bobbing up and down like "wac-a-mole" in "Chuckee Cheese" checking the time and praying their name is next to be called. Even the uninvolved pile of clothes begins to fidget unable to escape her piercing tirade. All this because of one....My first visit to the waiting room I soaked in this precious womans need to share all her worldly woes with not just the poor person on the other end of the phone but everyone else in within a 10 story building, left me scarred. however i niavely wrote it off and assumed the poor girl had a bad day. Five waiting rooms and five ettiquite challenged women later, assumtion is gone. The world is filled with screaming women in waiting rooms with a need to be heard! Their ex’s that have done them wrong and how all will pay! I punched his nasty cheating face. This aint his baby, he cant have it. I am not gonna work my butt off for his lazy butt to sit around and smoke weed. He will be served papers but i aint gonna do it the sherrif is gonna do that! (glad i can count on my tax dollars for that)Who really wants to know that much about another person?....even if it were some one you loved. I mean really! If I had known my insurance was paying for me to have a front row seat at the “Jerry Springer Show” I would have worn a prettier bra!2nd thing I learned was that no one knows how or cares to deal with this. Do you be chivalrous and tell the nurse you gladly give up your place just to get her where she needs to be sooner. no, they are never going the same place you are anyway. My advice bring a husband who has no problem reading aLOUD his laws and theroys of areodynamics in avition text book. The most boring snot known to man! All be alseep in 10 sec flat. down side so will the nurse doing roll call. If you dont happen to have a 4 inch thick text book on hand, opt for singing “Jesus loves you” at the top of your lungs, it has a two fold benefit. 1) she wont be able to talk above your joyus refrain, or she will just be shock of your beautiful singing voice. 2) she’ll know that Jesus loves her even if you cant.3rd I know way to much about complete strangers and not enough about my friends, want to go hang out in a waiting room?
Add a comment 5 comments
Updated about 6 months ago
love lessons
Tuesday, August 28, 2007 at 10:30am
Why we love our kids is never really a hard question to come up with an suitable answer for, yet the abuse we take in getting there leaves one to wonder....memorable moments in love lessons:
While squeezing into a dressing room full of exhaustion and desperation to find a last minute dress for some "one time" occasion Amia blurts out Mom! why do you have purple stripes on you belly?
While in a public restroom with many people waiting, Zoe serrenades us all by singing I like to move it move it. I like to mooooove it mmuuuhhhoooove it all the while doing her business.
After a day of school Geoff asked what they learned and all three girls proudly burped their abc's only to finish by absurdly proclaiming mommy taught them.
After attending a funeral Amia asked of the cemetary is this Heaven?
Mom Pump up My PANTs! Zoe 2 (i still have no idea what that means)
Hills are slides for cars - grace 2
In church during a prayer about being focused and not distracted by things around us Grace loud and proud announced that she had to go POTTIE!
After being in a wreck and then driving for the first time, Amia asked with great concern, Are you going to push the crash button again mom?
Zoe are you too hot? No, mom I'm smoking Hot!
Amia you did a great job bein the first one out of the car today thanks! Zoe walks up and says well the last one is the cute one. (she was last)
Hey mom this song makes me shake my booty! - Zoe and the song was" Be thou my vision"
Mom could you wear the pink matching bra and underwear today? zoe
Reasons why mom wont run with a cart full of kids in Lowes- we're standing up, we'll run over dad,- she's old. - my precious girls
Please pray for my mom and dad, they dont know my name. - Amia
Bye Dad i love you - Grace Bye dad i love you - Amia Bye Sugarman i luuuve you! - Zoe
MOM!!! I have a white butt! - zoe ( a new discovery to her i guess)
Did you get married just so you could kiss all the time? - zoe
After awakening to screams @ 3 in the morning, i found zoe sobbing in her roomMom! please can i always stay this size? that from my baby how precious she read my mind. After doing the only logical thing i could, i assured her yes of course she promptly rolled over and went back to sleep.
Zoe walked into the living room while geoff was tickling me and said dad are you unscrewing mom? the had just been outside building a bookshelf is the only correlation we can come up with!
Zoe i love you so much i could eat you! Mom God does not like it when big people eat little kids.
After touring the sept 11 memorial zoe looks at me and says we need to pray for the poor people mom.
Mom you know what? I dont like it when water goes up your nose! - ZoeZoe you know what? I dont like it when water goes up my nose either! - GraceZoe you know What ? It sure is funny when water goes up your nose! (Followed by gales of contagious laughter!) - Amia
Hey look there goes a short bus! - Amia We ride in a short bus! - Zoe No we do NOT! -AmiaYes we do! - ZoeNo we Dont! - amiaYES WE DO! WE ARE SHORT BUS RIDERS! -zOE
Add a comment 1 comment
Updated about 4 months ago
communion
Tuesday, July 17, 2007 at 9:37pm
As moms we learn to adapt to many new situations that are flung our way. Often in brief out of body glimpses i stop to stare at the disheveled super woman completing a dissertation on why wooden spoons in the blender are not good toys, holding a screaming child with the invisible owie and listening to yet another deaf salesman who has a need to get his speel out like a child who waited till 3 in the afternoon to pee for the first time that day. All this while succesfully charring mac and cheese for supper. My definition of adapting may differ slightly than yours, but isnt that what definitions are anymore? Thongs for instance are no longer flipflops and a used car is now "preowned". Before having kids being able to listen in church w/ no distractions was the only way for me to be able to hear what was being preached. Now as a mother a change has happened and i can no longer sit still in church and focus. Over the last 7 years I have been conditioned like a marathon runner to face the race (sunday morning) with complete unwavering attention. Where I become the human jungle gym, the silent eyes of death, and the ever present spy anticipating the villans next destructive move. All the while retaining ever word spoken. Now on certain sundays i am without those precious perils to my sunday worship and all adapting i have done is for not because without them i turn into them, and more poor husband is left pathetically attempting to give me the eyes of death. This past sunday was communion sunday and all ears were in attendance. However after all elements had been passed i felt a strangely cool sensation btween my legs only to discover my delightful zoe had dumped my "juice". Many thoughts run through a mothers mind none of which most likely should be had in church. Can one ask for seconds at communion? Is there enough left in the cup to slurp it out? anyone want to adopt a kid? first come first served. Or does it even count in reverence when the "mood" is lost somewhere between being a mom and the classy focused shell of christian you once were?
Add a comment 1 comment
i will never have a kid like that...
Thursday, May 17, 2007 at 12:06pm
How is that words with such defined determination come back to haunt us? Almost as if one could see their own mother shaking her head with a delightfuly smug smirk of " i told you so" written all over her face. We have all seen the brat in the store who has obviously already been given too much begging and pleading for more gluttony to pursue. The piercing sheirks that can can be heard across the football field of a store are incessant are expertly ignored, by both parent and other patrons. It has caused me to wonder at our societies convient deafness. Any mother knows there is a delicate switch flipped on at birth that gives us the ability to differintiate a cry for help and a cry for misguided attention. To know whether we can stay curled up on the couch with our book or at lightning speed take on that inner superwoman and soar to the side of the child who has just fallen from the top of the fridge. Where my confusion lies is when I am faced with the woman in the store who refuses to hear or deal with the juvi apprentice. Was her switch installed incorrectly, mislocated or just not at all? When did that all become acceptable on any level?It has taken 7 years, but my turn came last week in the form of an over tired over shopped 5 yr old daughter. All my ranting and raving of never owning a child who was allowed to behave in such a way came to a screeching halt. Amia my middle child, whining to go home hit her breaking point and started screaming. The mere sound of her elevated tone shook me to spin around and just stare at her. My shock unbeknownced to me was only just begining. My jaw hit the floor when what she was screaming for was enveiled for the entire shopping community to hear. Everything froze including my jaw still stuck to the floor. The spotlight came next as heads turned and waited like contestants on the price is right waiting for their name to be called to "come on down". what is that child screaming for was heard in a hushed whisper. and then like a bolt of lightening it came! I WANT A BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! a bra? I choked out. All my cool calm collected motherly wisdom drained along with the rest of all other bodily fluid. My mind was racing while she continued to scream, I WANT YOU TO BUY ME A BRA! Torn between laughing hysterically and questioning how or why she would want what she could not possibly know anything about. Could i give her one by wrapping it around her head ? No of course not. Telling her NO, only made her more determined. By now my mothers words were plaugeing my mind, Holland, there will be times you will have to leave a cart full of groceries in the store and take your child out". I cant do that i just spent the last two hours filling mt cart full of groceries I'm not leaving it. Argueing with my figmented mother wasnt helping. Amia seeing that she getting no where with her demented mother diverted to a new tactic. CALL MY DAD! HE'LL BUY ME A A BRA! Yes, why did'nt i think of that? Call your dad, never had i been so sure he would back me up and at least she would be quiet long enough for people to quit staring at the circus act in aile 8. Geoff did indeed have my back and got her quieted down so that we could finish our shopping w/ out the BRA! Thank goodness for level headed fathers. Her determination however was only delayed until we got home where she found one of my bras and proceeded to prance around the house for the remainder of the day in perfect bra bliss. I am now the mother of the the child i would never have .... how many more ignorant BC (before children) proclamations will I have to endure? Surely not that I am my mother after all.
Friday, July 25, 2008
waiting, room
Thursday, January 10, 2008 at 1:39pm
Waiting, Room. After spending what seems like an abundance of time in waiting rooms lately I have observed a few things, one might learn from. One, though the circumstances for your visit may change the people joining you dont. There is always the mom pleading with a child to behave, holding a bribe and threat in a single hand. Caving to some form of mock obedience. The sweet old couple in the corner resting in eachothers nearness, knowing all to well the young Dr. they wait for, is again no where close to being on time today. The business man who is making every second of his day count for the unknown brownie point quota. The young kid all on his own, forced into some form of reality, avoiding any human contact. You will have to look twice to notice that there is indeed a body holding up the pile of clothes slouched in the chair. The single lady with a smile, or the old man with a story to share. Each of these silently heed the unspoken courtesies of waiting room protocol. There is an uninterrupted rythmn to this daily routine. A magazine page flips, a leg swings back and forth or the gentle turn of a head when a fellow sojourner joins the ranks. Even the call to follow seems to be set in poetic motion. Then without warning it all violently tumbles to a halt. Like the overprotective mother who with tires sqealing, suddenly slams on the breaks and hurtles her arm across the chest of an unsuspecting passenger, knocking all air from them. What was almost tolerable bliss ends with the entrance of the loudest, chunky, dressed in yeterdays pjs, talking on her cell phone, oblivious woman. Peaceful music drowns under the weight of her harsh tone. What was once soft careless flip of a page now becomes a quick and aggitated thrashing through numerous magazines. The swinging of legs is now fingers jackhammering their way through the arm rest. Heads begin bobbing up and down like "wac-a-mole" in "Chuckee Cheese" checking the time and praying their name is next to be called. Even the uninvolved pile of clothes begins to fidget unable to escape her piercing tirade. All this because of one....My first visit to the waiting room I soaked in this precious womans need to share all her worldly woes with not just the poor person on the other end of the phone but everyone else in within a 10 story building, left me scarred. however i niavely wrote it off and assumed the poor girl had a bad day. Five waiting rooms and five ettiquite challenged women later, assumtion is gone. The world is filled with screaming women in waiting rooms with a need to be heard! Their ex’s that have done them wrong and how all will pay! I punched his nasty cheating face. This aint his baby, he cant have it. I am not gonna work my butt off for his lazy butt to sit around and smoke weed. He will be served papers but i aint gonna do it the sherrif is gonna do that! (glad i can count on my tax dollars for that)Who really wants to know that much about another person?....even if it were some one you loved. I mean really! If I had known my insurance was paying for me to have a front row seat at the “Jerry Springer Show” I would have worn a prettier bra!2nd thing I learned was that no one knows how or cares to deal with this. Do you be chivalrous and tell the nurse you gladly give up your place just to get her where she needs to be sooner. no, they are never going the same place you are anyway. My advice bring a husband who has no problem reading aLOUD his laws and theroys of areodynamics in avition text book. The most boring snot known to man! All be alseep in 10 sec flat. down side so will the nurse doing roll call. If you dont happen to have a 4 inch thick text book on hand, opt for singing “Jesus loves you” at the top of your lungs, it has a two fold benefit. 1) she wont be able to talk above your joyus refrain, or she will just be shock of your beautiful singing voice. 2) she’ll know that Jesus loves her even if you cant.3rd I know way to much about complete strangers and not enough about my friends, want to go hang out in a waiting room?
Add a comment 5 comments
Updated about 6 months ago
love lessons
Tuesday, August 28, 2007 at 10:30am
Why we love our kids is never really a hard question to come up with an suitable answer for, yet the abuse we take in getting there leaves one to wonder....memorable moments in love lessons:
While squeezing into a dressing room full of exhaustion and desperation to find a last minute dress for some "one time" occasion Amia blurts out Mom! why do you have purple stripes on you belly?
While in a public restroom with many people waiting, Zoe serrenades us all by singing I like to move it move it. I like to mooooove it mmuuuhhhoooove it all the while doing her business.
After a day of school Geoff asked what they learned and all three girls proudly burped their abc's only to finish by absurdly proclaiming mommy taught them.
After attending a funeral Amia asked of the cemetary is this Heaven?
Mom Pump up My PANTs! Zoe 2 (i still have no idea what that means)
Hills are slides for cars - grace 2
In church during a prayer about being focused and not distracted by things around us Grace loud and proud announced that she had to go POTTIE!
After being in a wreck and then driving for the first time, Amia asked with great concern, Are you going to push the crash button again mom?
Zoe are you too hot? No, mom I'm smoking Hot!
Amia you did a great job bein the first one out of the car today thanks! Zoe walks up and says well the last one is the cute one. (she was last)
Hey mom this song makes me shake my booty! - Zoe and the song was" Be thou my vision"
Mom could you wear the pink matching bra and underwear today? zoe
Reasons why mom wont run with a cart full of kids in Lowes- we're standing up, we'll run over dad,- she's old. - my precious girls
Please pray for my mom and dad, they dont know my name. - Amia
Bye Dad i love you - Grace Bye dad i love you - Amia Bye Sugarman i luuuve you! - Zoe
MOM!!! I have a white butt! - zoe ( a new discovery to her i guess)
Did you get married just so you could kiss all the time? - zoe
After awakening to screams @ 3 in the morning, i found zoe sobbing in her roomMom! please can i always stay this size? that from my baby how precious she read my mind. After doing the only logical thing i could, i assured her yes of course she promptly rolled over and went back to sleep.
Zoe walked into the living room while geoff was tickling me and said dad are you unscrewing mom? the had just been outside building a bookshelf is the only correlation we can come up with!
Zoe i love you so much i could eat you! Mom God does not like it when big people eat little kids.
After touring the sept 11 memorial zoe looks at me and says we need to pray for the poor people mom.
Mom you know what? I dont like it when water goes up your nose! - ZoeZoe you know what? I dont like it when water goes up my nose either! - GraceZoe you know What ? It sure is funny when water goes up your nose! (Followed by gales of contagious laughter!) - Amia
Hey look there goes a short bus! - Amia We ride in a short bus! - Zoe No we do NOT! -AmiaYes we do! - ZoeNo we Dont! - amiaYES WE DO! WE ARE SHORT BUS RIDERS! -zOE
Add a comment 1 comment
Updated about 4 months ago
communion
Tuesday, July 17, 2007 at 9:37pm
As moms we learn to adapt to many new situations that are flung our way. Often in brief out of body glimpses i stop to stare at the disheveled super woman completing a dissertation on why wooden spoons in the blender are not good toys, holding a screaming child with the invisible owie and listening to yet another deaf salesman who has a need to get his speel out like a child who waited till 3 in the afternoon to pee for the first time that day. All this while succesfully charring mac and cheese for supper. My definition of adapting may differ slightly than yours, but isnt that what definitions are anymore? Thongs for instance are no longer flipflops and a used car is now "preowned". Before having kids being able to listen in church w/ no distractions was the only way for me to be able to hear what was being preached. Now as a mother a change has happened and i can no longer sit still in church and focus. Over the last 7 years I have been conditioned like a marathon runner to face the race (sunday morning) with complete unwavering attention. Where I become the human jungle gym, the silent eyes of death, and the ever present spy anticipating the villans next destructive move. All the while retaining ever word spoken. Now on certain sundays i am without those precious perils to my sunday worship and all adapting i have done is for not because without them i turn into them, and more poor husband is left pathetically attempting to give me the eyes of death. This past sunday was communion sunday and all ears were in attendance. However after all elements had been passed i felt a strangely cool sensation btween my legs only to discover my delightful zoe had dumped my "juice". Many thoughts run through a mothers mind none of which most likely should be had in church. Can one ask for seconds at communion? Is there enough left in the cup to slurp it out? anyone want to adopt a kid? first come first served. Or does it even count in reverence when the "mood" is lost somewhere between being a mom and the classy focused shell of christian you once were?
Add a comment 1 comment
i will never have a kid like that...
Thursday, May 17, 2007 at 12:06pm
How is that words with such defined determination come back to haunt us? Almost as if one could see their own mother shaking her head with a delightfuly smug smirk of " i told you so" written all over her face. We have all seen the brat in the store who has obviously already been given too much begging and pleading for more gluttony to pursue. The piercing sheirks that can can be heard across the football field of a store are incessant are expertly ignored, by both parent and other patrons. It has caused me to wonder at our societies convient deafness. Any mother knows there is a delicate switch flipped on at birth that gives us the ability to differintiate a cry for help and a cry for misguided attention. To know whether we can stay curled up on the couch with our book or at lightning speed take on that inner superwoman and soar to the side of the child who has just fallen from the top of the fridge. Where my confusion lies is when I am faced with the woman in the store who refuses to hear or deal with the juvi apprentice. Was her switch installed incorrectly, mislocated or just not at all? When did that all become acceptable on any level?It has taken 7 years, but my turn came last week in the form of an over tired over shopped 5 yr old daughter. All my ranting and raving of never owning a child who was allowed to behave in such a way came to a screeching halt. Amia my middle child, whining to go home hit her breaking point and started screaming. The mere sound of her elevated tone shook me to spin around and just stare at her. My shock unbeknownced to me was only just begining. My jaw hit the floor when what she was screaming for was enveiled for the entire shopping community to hear. Everything froze including my jaw still stuck to the floor. The spotlight came next as heads turned and waited like contestants on the price is right waiting for their name to be called to "come on down". what is that child screaming for was heard in a hushed whisper. and then like a bolt of lightening it came! I WANT A BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! a bra? I choked out. All my cool calm collected motherly wisdom drained along with the rest of all other bodily fluid. My mind was racing while she continued to scream, I WANT YOU TO BUY ME A BRA! Torn between laughing hysterically and questioning how or why she would want what she could not possibly know anything about. Could i give her one by wrapping it around her head ? No of course not. Telling her NO, only made her more determined. By now my mothers words were plaugeing my mind, Holland, there will be times you will have to leave a cart full of groceries in the store and take your child out". I cant do that i just spent the last two hours filling mt cart full of groceries I'm not leaving it. Argueing with my figmented mother wasnt helping. Amia seeing that she getting no where with her demented mother diverted to a new tactic. CALL MY DAD! HE'LL BUY ME A A BRA! Yes, why did'nt i think of that? Call your dad, never had i been so sure he would back me up and at least she would be quiet long enough for people to quit staring at the circus act in aile 8. Geoff did indeed have my back and got her quieted down so that we could finish our shopping w/ out the BRA! Thank goodness for level headed fathers. Her determination however was only delayed until we got home where she found one of my bras and proceeded to prance around the house for the remainder of the day in perfect bra bliss. I am now the mother of the the child i would never have .... how many more ignorant BC (before children) proclamations will I have to endure? Surely not that I am my mother after all.
Thursday, January 10, 2008 at 1:39pm
Waiting, Room. After spending what seems like an abundance of time in waiting rooms lately I have observed a few things, one might learn from. One, though the circumstances for your visit may change the people joining you dont. There is always the mom pleading with a child to behave, holding a bribe and threat in a single hand. Caving to some form of mock obedience. The sweet old couple in the corner resting in eachothers nearness, knowing all to well the young Dr. they wait for, is again no where close to being on time today. The business man who is making every second of his day count for the unknown brownie point quota. The young kid all on his own, forced into some form of reality, avoiding any human contact. You will have to look twice to notice that there is indeed a body holding up the pile of clothes slouched in the chair. The single lady with a smile, or the old man with a story to share. Each of these silently heed the unspoken courtesies of waiting room protocol. There is an uninterrupted rythmn to this daily routine. A magazine page flips, a leg swings back and forth or the gentle turn of a head when a fellow sojourner joins the ranks. Even the call to follow seems to be set in poetic motion. Then without warning it all violently tumbles to a halt. Like the overprotective mother who with tires sqealing, suddenly slams on the breaks and hurtles her arm across the chest of an unsuspecting passenger, knocking all air from them. What was almost tolerable bliss ends with the entrance of the loudest, chunky, dressed in yeterdays pjs, talking on her cell phone, oblivious woman. Peaceful music drowns under the weight of her harsh tone. What was once soft careless flip of a page now becomes a quick and aggitated thrashing through numerous magazines. The swinging of legs is now fingers jackhammering their way through the arm rest. Heads begin bobbing up and down like "wac-a-mole" in "Chuckee Cheese" checking the time and praying their name is next to be called. Even the uninvolved pile of clothes begins to fidget unable to escape her piercing tirade. All this because of one....My first visit to the waiting room I soaked in this precious womans need to share all her worldly woes with not just the poor person on the other end of the phone but everyone else in within a 10 story building, left me scarred. however i niavely wrote it off and assumed the poor girl had a bad day. Five waiting rooms and five ettiquite challenged women later, assumtion is gone. The world is filled with screaming women in waiting rooms with a need to be heard! Their ex’s that have done them wrong and how all will pay! I punched his nasty cheating face. This aint his baby, he cant have it. I am not gonna work my butt off for his lazy butt to sit around and smoke weed. He will be served papers but i aint gonna do it the sherrif is gonna do that! (glad i can count on my tax dollars for that)Who really wants to know that much about another person?....even if it were some one you loved. I mean really! If I had known my insurance was paying for me to have a front row seat at the “Jerry Springer Show” I would have worn a prettier bra!2nd thing I learned was that no one knows how or cares to deal with this. Do you be chivalrous and tell the nurse you gladly give up your place just to get her where she needs to be sooner. no, they are never going the same place you are anyway. My advice bring a husband who has no problem reading aLOUD his laws and theroys of areodynamics in avition text book. The most boring snot known to man! All be alseep in 10 sec flat. down side so will the nurse doing roll call. If you dont happen to have a 4 inch thick text book on hand, opt for singing “Jesus loves you” at the top of your lungs, it has a two fold benefit. 1) she wont be able to talk above your joyus refrain, or she will just be shock of your beautiful singing voice. 2) she’ll know that Jesus loves her even if you cant.3rd I know way to much about complete strangers and not enough about my friends, want to go hang out in a waiting room?
Add a comment 5 comments
Updated about 6 months ago
love lessons
Tuesday, August 28, 2007 at 10:30am
Why we love our kids is never really a hard question to come up with an suitable answer for, yet the abuse we take in getting there leaves one to wonder....memorable moments in love lessons:
While squeezing into a dressing room full of exhaustion and desperation to find a last minute dress for some "one time" occasion Amia blurts out Mom! why do you have purple stripes on you belly?
While in a public restroom with many people waiting, Zoe serrenades us all by singing I like to move it move it. I like to mooooove it mmuuuhhhoooove it all the while doing her business.
After a day of school Geoff asked what they learned and all three girls proudly burped their abc's only to finish by absurdly proclaiming mommy taught them.
After attending a funeral Amia asked of the cemetary is this Heaven?
Mom Pump up My PANTs! Zoe 2 (i still have no idea what that means)
Hills are slides for cars - grace 2
In church during a prayer about being focused and not distracted by things around us Grace loud and proud announced that she had to go POTTIE!
After being in a wreck and then driving for the first time, Amia asked with great concern, Are you going to push the crash button again mom?
Zoe are you too hot? No, mom I'm smoking Hot!
Amia you did a great job bein the first one out of the car today thanks! Zoe walks up and says well the last one is the cute one. (she was last)
Hey mom this song makes me shake my booty! - Zoe and the song was" Be thou my vision"
Mom could you wear the pink matching bra and underwear today? zoe
Reasons why mom wont run with a cart full of kids in Lowes- we're standing up, we'll run over dad,- she's old. - my precious girls
Please pray for my mom and dad, they dont know my name. - Amia
Bye Dad i love you - Grace Bye dad i love you - Amia Bye Sugarman i luuuve you! - Zoe
MOM!!! I have a white butt! - zoe ( a new discovery to her i guess)
Did you get married just so you could kiss all the time? - zoe
After awakening to screams @ 3 in the morning, i found zoe sobbing in her roomMom! please can i always stay this size? that from my baby how precious she read my mind. After doing the only logical thing i could, i assured her yes of course she promptly rolled over and went back to sleep.
Zoe walked into the living room while geoff was tickling me and said dad are you unscrewing mom? the had just been outside building a bookshelf is the only correlation we can come up with!
Zoe i love you so much i could eat you! Mom God does not like it when big people eat little kids.
After touring the sept 11 memorial zoe looks at me and says we need to pray for the poor people mom.
Mom you know what? I dont like it when water goes up your nose! - ZoeZoe you know what? I dont like it when water goes up my nose either! - GraceZoe you know What ? It sure is funny when water goes up your nose! (Followed by gales of contagious laughter!) - Amia
Hey look there goes a short bus! - Amia We ride in a short bus! - Zoe No we do NOT! -AmiaYes we do! - ZoeNo we Dont! - amiaYES WE DO! WE ARE SHORT BUS RIDERS! -zOE
Add a comment 1 comment
Updated about 4 months ago
communion
Tuesday, July 17, 2007 at 9:37pm
As moms we learn to adapt to many new situations that are flung our way. Often in brief out of body glimpses i stop to stare at the disheveled super woman completing a dissertation on why wooden spoons in the blender are not good toys, holding a screaming child with the invisible owie and listening to yet another deaf salesman who has a need to get his speel out like a child who waited till 3 in the afternoon to pee for the first time that day. All this while succesfully charring mac and cheese for supper. My definition of adapting may differ slightly than yours, but isnt that what definitions are anymore? Thongs for instance are no longer flipflops and a used car is now "preowned". Before having kids being able to listen in church w/ no distractions was the only way for me to be able to hear what was being preached. Now as a mother a change has happened and i can no longer sit still in church and focus. Over the last 7 years I have been conditioned like a marathon runner to face the race (sunday morning) with complete unwavering attention. Where I become the human jungle gym, the silent eyes of death, and the ever present spy anticipating the villans next destructive move. All the while retaining ever word spoken. Now on certain sundays i am without those precious perils to my sunday worship and all adapting i have done is for not because without them i turn into them, and more poor husband is left pathetically attempting to give me the eyes of death. This past sunday was communion sunday and all ears were in attendance. However after all elements had been passed i felt a strangely cool sensation btween my legs only to discover my delightful zoe had dumped my "juice". Many thoughts run through a mothers mind none of which most likely should be had in church. Can one ask for seconds at communion? Is there enough left in the cup to slurp it out? anyone want to adopt a kid? first come first served. Or does it even count in reverence when the "mood" is lost somewhere between being a mom and the classy focused shell of christian you once were?
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i will never have a kid like that...
Thursday, May 17, 2007 at 12:06pm
How is that words with such defined determination come back to haunt us? Almost as if one could see their own mother shaking her head with a delightfuly smug smirk of " i told you so" written all over her face. We have all seen the brat in the store who has obviously already been given too much begging and pleading for more gluttony to pursue. The piercing sheirks that can can be heard across the football field of a store are incessant are expertly ignored, by both parent and other patrons. It has caused me to wonder at our societies convient deafness. Any mother knows there is a delicate switch flipped on at birth that gives us the ability to differintiate a cry for help and a cry for misguided attention. To know whether we can stay curled up on the couch with our book or at lightning speed take on that inner superwoman and soar to the side of the child who has just fallen from the top of the fridge. Where my confusion lies is when I am faced with the woman in the store who refuses to hear or deal with the juvi apprentice. Was her switch installed incorrectly, mislocated or just not at all? When did that all become acceptable on any level?It has taken 7 years, but my turn came last week in the form of an over tired over shopped 5 yr old daughter. All my ranting and raving of never owning a child who was allowed to behave in such a way came to a screeching halt. Amia my middle child, whining to go home hit her breaking point and started screaming. The mere sound of her elevated tone shook me to spin around and just stare at her. My shock unbeknownced to me was only just begining. My jaw hit the floor when what she was screaming for was enveiled for the entire shopping community to hear. Everything froze including my jaw still stuck to the floor. The spotlight came next as heads turned and waited like contestants on the price is right waiting for their name to be called to "come on down". what is that child screaming for was heard in a hushed whisper. and then like a bolt of lightening it came! I WANT A BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! a bra? I choked out. All my cool calm collected motherly wisdom drained along with the rest of all other bodily fluid. My mind was racing while she continued to scream, I WANT YOU TO BUY ME A BRA! Torn between laughing hysterically and questioning how or why she would want what she could not possibly know anything about. Could i give her one by wrapping it around her head ? No of course not. Telling her NO, only made her more determined. By now my mothers words were plaugeing my mind, Holland, there will be times you will have to leave a cart full of groceries in the store and take your child out". I cant do that i just spent the last two hours filling mt cart full of groceries I'm not leaving it. Argueing with my figmented mother wasnt helping. Amia seeing that she getting no where with her demented mother diverted to a new tactic. CALL MY DAD! HE'LL BUY ME A A BRA! Yes, why did'nt i think of that? Call your dad, never had i been so sure he would back me up and at least she would be quiet long enough for people to quit staring at the circus act in aile 8. Geoff did indeed have my back and got her quieted down so that we could finish our shopping w/ out the BRA! Thank goodness for level headed fathers. Her determination however was only delayed until we got home where she found one of my bras and proceeded to prance around the house for the remainder of the day in perfect bra bliss. I am now the mother of the the child i would never have .... how many more ignorant BC (before children) proclamations will I have to endure? Surely not that I am my mother after all.
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