When I wrote my last post I was sick with the flu, so I apologize for any disjointedness.
This time I have a horrendous cold. It has been some time since I have been really sick. By sick I mean puking up my guts. My kids and perfect husband are beside themselves. It warms the heart to be needed. Frankly, I had become immune to the idea of how much I as a mother am indeed needed. One might often hear a mother who no longer has children at home, pine for the days when her home was full of the pitter patter of little feet, or the days when she felt her worth by how much she was needed by those precious feet.
Well, I am here to say bring it on! Bring on the days of an empty nest. My neediness capacity is full!
I did not come to this revelation when my children repeatedly asked me if I was going to get out of bed anytime soon. They were hungry. Nor did it hit me when my husband was running around frantically clapping loudly at the girls to get to bed. (Imagine herding cattle without horses) It was when I was in the midst of hurling my innermost parts into a Pyrex bowl that I began to hear voices.
Mommy, I know you are sick but… I….
“ZOE” I started, but was compelled to add more to my mixing bowl instead.
Mommy, she began again, completely unfazed by the fact her mother was grossly incapacitated.
No longer able to speak I waved my arms for her to leave.
Please! please, give me that possession I once owned without ever knowing its priceless value.
Oh what is the word?
Oh yes, now I remember.
Privacy. Hhhmm I think that’s another post for another day.
Anyway, “Mommy she says “I uh, just uh, wanted to tell you that uhhmm, “
At this point you can tell she has either forgotten whatever she was going to say or become suddenly aware that her mother’s facial contortion is no longer a friendly one. That is unless she comes up with something worthy of such interruption.
Mom she starts again. “Um I just wanted to tell you that ….Amia”
You could almost read Zoe’s thoughts going across her face like a teleprompter.
Ok if I blame my sister maybe mom won’t remember me here.
Mom I just wanted to tell you that Amia is using all the tape and I did not touch any of it.
With that she skipped away.
All my life I wanted nothing more than to be a mother. Ok well maybe a wife came before that. My desire for motherhood hasn’t changed just the desire for different kids. Yes of course I’m kidding and that was not how I was going to finish that sentence. That was just what my fingers typed before the correct thoughts could be placed there. It is nice to be needed and loved. To that end my family has been great in caring for me even if in the beginning it was shock to their systems. Geoff has indeed cooked meals, the girls even fought over who got to clean the toilet this week. I am loved and get to see it in so many ways.
One more thought.
Homemade meals have not been a part of our regular dinning these past couple days because well, I’m not cooking and Geoff is buried in building projects. So after having our nightly discussion of what to have for dinner I asked him, what Chinese sounded like he replied
Meow…..
I have been told laughter is the best medicine so maybe I’m in for a quick recovery.
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Thursday, January 1, 2009
It's so good to be loved.......no really it is.
When I wrote my last post I was sick with the flu, so I apologize for any disjointedness.
This time I have a horrendous cold. It has been some time since I have been really sick. By sick I mean puking up my guts. My kids and perfect husband are beside themselves. It warms the heart to be needed. Frankly, I had become immune to the idea of how much I as a mother am indeed needed. One might often hear a mother who no longer has children at home, pine for the days when her home was full of the pitter patter of little feet, or the days when she felt her worth by how much she was needed by those precious feet.
Well, I am here to say bring it on! Bring on the days of an empty nest. My neediness capacity is full!
I did not come to this revelation when my children repeatedly asked me if I was going to get out of bed anytime soon. They were hungry. Nor did it hit me when my husband was running around frantically clapping loudly at the girls to get to bed. (Imagine herding cattle without horses) It was when I was in the midst of hurling my innermost parts into a Pyrex bowl that I began to hear voices.
Mommy, I know you are sick but… I….
“ZOE” I started, but was compelled to add more to my mixing bowl instead.
Mommy, she began again, completely unfazed by the fact her mother was grossly incapacitated.
No longer able to speak I waved my arms for her to leave.
Please! please, give me that possession I once owned without ever knowing its priceless value.
Oh what is the word?
Oh yes, now I remember.
Privacy. Hhhmm I think that’s another post for another day.
Anyway, “Mommy she says “I uh, just uh, wanted to tell you that uhhmm, “
At this point you can tell she has either forgotten whatever she was going to say or become suddenly aware that her mother’s facial contortion is no longer a friendly one. That is unless she comes up with something worthy of such interruption.
Mom she starts again. “Um I just wanted to tell you that ….Amia”
You could almost read Zoe’s thoughts going across her face like a teleprompter.
Ok if I blame my sister maybe mom won’t remember me here.
Mom I just wanted to tell you that Amia is using all the tape and I did not touch any of it.
With that she skipped away.
All my life I wanted nothing more than to be a mother. Ok well maybe a wife came before that. My desire for motherhood hasn’t changed just the desire for different kids. Yes of course I’m kidding and that was not how I was going to finish that sentence. That was just what my fingers typed before the correct thoughts could be placed there. It is nice to be needed and loved. To that end my family has been great in caring for me even if in the beginning it was shock to their systems. Geoff has indeed cooked meals, the girls even fought over who got to clean the toilet this week. I am loved and get to see it in so many ways.
One more thought.
Homemade meals have not been a part of our regular dinning these past couple days because well, I’m not cooking and Geoff is buried in building projects. So after having our nightly discussion of what to have for dinner I asked him, what Chinese sounded like he replied
Meow…..
I have been told laughter is the best medicine so maybe I’m in for a quick recovery.
This time I have a horrendous cold. It has been some time since I have been really sick. By sick I mean puking up my guts. My kids and perfect husband are beside themselves. It warms the heart to be needed. Frankly, I had become immune to the idea of how much I as a mother am indeed needed. One might often hear a mother who no longer has children at home, pine for the days when her home was full of the pitter patter of little feet, or the days when she felt her worth by how much she was needed by those precious feet.
Well, I am here to say bring it on! Bring on the days of an empty nest. My neediness capacity is full!
I did not come to this revelation when my children repeatedly asked me if I was going to get out of bed anytime soon. They were hungry. Nor did it hit me when my husband was running around frantically clapping loudly at the girls to get to bed. (Imagine herding cattle without horses) It was when I was in the midst of hurling my innermost parts into a Pyrex bowl that I began to hear voices.
Mommy, I know you are sick but… I….
“ZOE” I started, but was compelled to add more to my mixing bowl instead.
Mommy, she began again, completely unfazed by the fact her mother was grossly incapacitated.
No longer able to speak I waved my arms for her to leave.
Please! please, give me that possession I once owned without ever knowing its priceless value.
Oh what is the word?
Oh yes, now I remember.
Privacy. Hhhmm I think that’s another post for another day.
Anyway, “Mommy she says “I uh, just uh, wanted to tell you that uhhmm, “
At this point you can tell she has either forgotten whatever she was going to say or become suddenly aware that her mother’s facial contortion is no longer a friendly one. That is unless she comes up with something worthy of such interruption.
Mom she starts again. “Um I just wanted to tell you that ….Amia”
You could almost read Zoe’s thoughts going across her face like a teleprompter.
Ok if I blame my sister maybe mom won’t remember me here.
Mom I just wanted to tell you that Amia is using all the tape and I did not touch any of it.
With that she skipped away.
All my life I wanted nothing more than to be a mother. Ok well maybe a wife came before that. My desire for motherhood hasn’t changed just the desire for different kids. Yes of course I’m kidding and that was not how I was going to finish that sentence. That was just what my fingers typed before the correct thoughts could be placed there. It is nice to be needed and loved. To that end my family has been great in caring for me even if in the beginning it was shock to their systems. Geoff has indeed cooked meals, the girls even fought over who got to clean the toilet this week. I am loved and get to see it in so many ways.
One more thought.
Homemade meals have not been a part of our regular dinning these past couple days because well, I’m not cooking and Geoff is buried in building projects. So after having our nightly discussion of what to have for dinner I asked him, what Chinese sounded like he replied
Meow…..
I have been told laughter is the best medicine so maybe I’m in for a quick recovery.
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