The News

Thank you all for your prayers. I know that without them I would not be a properly functioning human. (I’ll spare you the humorous remarks at my own expense)
Even though in moments of yesterday’s meeting I wanted to bolt, and deny the reality of the day’s existence. I/we had amazing peace. There were tears but there was also laughter. How I cherish laughter.

When we arrived Geoff and I were the only ones in the waiting room, which I thought nothing of until later that night. We had a few rare uninterrupted moments together, to just be.

God loves us so much………….the vastness of His great love astounds me.
I just want to soak that thought in for a little while….

I don’t consider it coincidence that the waiting room was empty. God knew that I would not have been able to hold it together had other women been there. Other women, who also have life growing inside their bodies. God knew that it would have been a bad combination with me there to surmise about their reasons for coming. (The clinic is next door to a very well known abortion Dr. here in town. The main goal of Choices Medical Clinic is to provide an alternative to women that may be visiting the Dr. next door.) I likely would have convinced myself that it was “Gods plan” for them to give me the baby they did not want anyway…..An empty waiting room may have been small on the grand scale of things God can do. It not only confirms that He has his hands in the details but that the day also could have had a completely different tone. He is in complete control, and for that I am thankful.

We met 5 people all with various medical backgrounds and all with incredible hearts just pouring out to us. Not only could we see and hear it, but we also felt the immense sincere love from the moment we walked in the door. The presence of such love lifted our hearts like no other. We were strangers to them, and they loved us. What a picture of Christ! How encouraging for us to know, see and feel His love in the midst of excruciating pain. Only He could have prepared that for us.

Questions were asked, answers were given. Big words were used and defined. Plans were made and numbers were traded. Then we moved on to view our baby. Confirmation was quickly given, that indeed what this baby had is lethal and will not survive. (A diagnosis was given for what the baby has I just can’t remember it at the moment, let alone spell it.)

God has little by little been preparing us for that. It never gets any easier to hear. Whether it’s the first time or the 3rd I still want to run, run away from it all. As though I were a little child running away from the monster under my bed. While I lay there contemplating my escape route and how to do with dignity. If dignity was to be involved then forethought was critical, especially since my gigantic luminescent white belly was floating in 3 inches of blue goo. Never mind my pants, or the 3 people in front of the door. All plans for escape melted away with the song and verse that filled my heart.

You are my hiding place.
You always fill my heart with songs of deliverance
Whenever I am afraid I will trust in you.

Exodus 33:22 (New Living Translation)
22 As my glorious presence passes by, I will hide you in the crevice of the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by.
The sonogram also showed that this baby is most likely a girl. I find that to be a blessing as well.
Thank you all for your prayers. Now we wait on God, and His perfect timing, for the birth of this precious baby.