Ready or Not....

As we left for church last week, the sky was bulging with impending rain. Despite the fact that we were running our usual 10 min late everyone was in a good mood. (I'll take that over a bad mood and being on time to church any day) Waiting in the parking lot was an all too familiar sight, and unknown to me was a life altering pop quiz.
When we pulled in, a woman hobbling around in a boot cast made her way towards a fellow churchgoer, and attemptted to share her sad story and ask for money. Getting nowhere she moved on towards our car. Witnessing the whole thing and remembering the words of older and wiser people I followed the drill. "Just ignore them, don't give them money they will only come back for more" However the closer she came I began to freak out. Geoffrey do something! (I sure learned that lesson well from my ancestor Eve if you find yourself in a piclkle be sure to bring your husband down with you.) I can't do anything, we are going to be late for church! (as if that was ever a concern before) The rain began to drizzle as she began her story. She had been robbed, beat up, run over, left for dead, her husband left her and was now trying to take away her children. Ma'am Geoff interrupted I'm sorry but we're running late. As I looked up to tell her I didn't have any cash, her eyes caught mine and all I could see was absolute despair and hopelessness. Her own tears now mingled with the rain. She lingered for a moment to compose herself and then turned away....
Caught up in getting the children inside before their church pristineness was soiled by the rain I did not stop to take stock in what had just occurred until Zoe looked up at me and said mommy can we pray for that woman?
Oh! The atrocity of my failure to show God's love to even the "least of these", and the example I have set to my kids in doing so. Gods love is the message we are supposed to share. How could I have been too "busy" for my life's purpose? Somehow I thought in my head that we would have a scheduled appointment with those that are need of His love. Then I could be organized and prepared. A loving friend kindly pointed out that never happens we are always busy. God works in spite of us. He did bring her right to me.
And then even if I did "have cash" (which by the way i did but was saving for my children's offering) it's not mine. So what if it was used for something other than what she proclaimed. Who am I to determine how Gods money should be used? He only asks that I give and give selflessly, not conditionally. Could I not have offered that woman a hug, or told her of the unfailing love I'm privileged to know, or invited her in out of the rain for coffee and introduce her to a community to help bear the burden?
No, I ignored and went on my hypocritical way. The test was delivered and I failed.
Yet, that is not where the story will end I will learn from it and move on. It has become the siren I cant ignore, like the one that goes off when airplane engine has stalled. Do something to change my idealistic world of Godly response patterns or die. After such an obvious misstep I must question and reevaluate my commitment to this God I quietly proclaim to serve. Am I ready when God calls on me again, whether it be the stereotypical soldier with a gun to my head or the person in need, and how many other obvious opportunities am ignoring?